TEASER - A RADIO STAR

[spaceship noises]

ECHO

Now entering: system GS 1245.

[someone presses a button on a radio, static ambiance]

NEWSCASTER [radio]:

In a stunning upset for the resident racing champion, Icarus has taken the top spot for this season of-

[button press, the channel switches

[melodic string music plays]

SALESPERSON [radio]:

-your top ten choices amongst the NYMPH starship line for a stable cruise amongst the moons of Thrace-

[button press, the channel switches]

upbeat electronic music plays]

APOLLO [radio]:

Hello, to all you beautiful, beautiful people of the Hellas system! The suns are shining, the planets are in alignment, and it’s your favourite member of the Olympian family speaking! Yours truly, Apollo!

[studio applause]

APOLLO [radio]:

Yes, yes, thank you. Now, before we get into the nitty gritty of this week’s episode of Into The Olympians, I am just delighted to announce an all new lineup of vitamins, tonics, and assorted medicines coming out this year, from me and right into your hot little hands!

[audience ‘ooh’s]

APOLLO [radio]:

It’s new, it’s fresh, and most importantly, it’s going to be available in all Apollo clinics from the low, low price of only ten thousand drachma per dose!

[studio applause]

APOLLO [radio]:

A bottle per day may not keep the doctor away, but it will certainly help!

[canned laughter]

APOLLO [radio]:

Oh, and you all can’t wait to hear more about it, can you? More on that later! For now, let’s look at what’s going on in the life of Herakles Hercules Olympus’s favourite son and newest rising star!

[studio applause]

APOLLO [radio]:

…Followed up by some commentary by in-house experts about Crete’s current radio silence. Personally, I would have stopped making all that silly fuss by now, if only to stop Uncle dearest from sulking around the house, but—

[canned laughter]

APOLLO [radio]:

Oh. Well, I’m not allowed to comment on that, apparently! Well, without further ado: ladies, gents, everyone in-between, let’s get on with the show!

[studio applause]

[Apollo’s voice begins to fade out]

APOLLO [radio]:

And to start with, a segment featuring yours truly, Apollo! A popular question floating around the galactic net these days is: my commentary on this week’s race, which- believe me when I say you don’t want to hear about it. But if you’re really curious, then stay tuned for-

[Apollo’s voice abruptly cuts out as someone rapidly hits a radio, thunder and heavy rain can be heard]

MEDEA:

Don’t know why I even bother. It’s always the same thing, isn’t it.

[sound of radio being hit again, static briefly cuts in and out]

MEDEA:

Old models… can’t pick up any channel within a single light-year’s range, still don’t understand why we can’t switch over. Suppose I should be grateful, really. This way, at least I don’t have to hear any… tabloid gossip. No one talking about poor, poor Jason and his witch of a wife who-

[pause]

MEDEA:

Coming, auntie!

[footsteps walking away]

[the radio crackles back to life, glitching in and out]

ATALANTA [distorted]:

…Come in? Come in? …This is user Atalanta, model Argo, requesting landing. …Repeat, this is user Atalanta, requesting landing…

[the radio crackles out]

THE TALESPINNER:

Khôra Podcast is created by A.L. Emmet. This trailer featured the voices of Lucas Robins, Kit MacNeil, Mq Quinlan and Sats D. Stefano, and was written by Clary Cheung, with music and sound design by the Khôra team, who you can read more about in the show notes. Khôra Podcast will be coming to wherever you get your podcasts on December 28th, 2020.